How a wasp sting taught me the power of delayed gratitude.

A meditation about unanticipated and delayed gratitude, for Thanksgiving 2020, a year that just keeps "giving back" in cruel and painful ways. :(

I am grateful for the wasp who stung my toe (painfully and with very theatrical swelling and redness) on October 19, 2019.

Of course there is a story involved, and I was not grateful at the time. Not at all grateful.

I had been enjoying the North Carolina autumn warmth, lunching with colleagues in my Integrative coaching program, luxuriating in the joy of wearing sandals on my Minnesotan already-in-snow-boots feet. A punch-drunk wasp lazily landed on my toe - and stung. Ouch! His tiny dose of venom caused a surprisingly painful, ugly and theatrical inflammatory reaction. Concerned colleagues crouched over the offended foot, gathering to provide help if needed. The seriously neglected, calloused, hammer-toed, cuticle-challenged, foot. My ugly foot exposed to scrutiny. My professional attire belied by the vulnerability of exposed neglect.

I was not grateful for that wasp. Not for the pain. Not for supplying the opportunity to see in sharp focus just how badly I needed a pedicure ;)

Why had I been avoiding a pedicure? Thinking about the “pathologic pedicure avoidance” (LOL) inspired a sudden recognition - as sudden as the sting - of some unresolved grief issues.

(Yes, really. I missed my daughter, who had always sat in my lap for mommy/daughter pedicures. Losing her broke my heart. Going for pedicures without her broke my heart again.)

My icky toenails had opened a channel for a sudden howl, a wail, of grief and loss. As sudden as the wasp sting.

Opening that can of worms brought me to an unexpected and powerful new friendship, and the deepening of an old friendship. Thank you, Laura. Thank you, Michelle.

Friendships are the most powerful force I know.

The old friendship has seen me through many crises, and is my anchor in stormy times.

The new friendship feels both new and very very old. And this new friend has become one of the magical universe-provided guides who beckon me me along the steps to my next phase of my life....

My Duke blue toenails.

And yes, I did end up getting the pedicure the next day, bolstered by the empowering love and companionship of girlfriends. Blue toenails, for Duke university, since that is where the epiphany and friendships are anchored

So, a year later, in retrospect, I am so grateful for that wasp sting.

My friends, many of us are being stung by wasps of uniquely painful experiences right now. We may not know until a year or more from now which stings will eventually bring us to a place of gratitude. (And, honestly, which ones just suck. Just sayin'.)

Sending you all love, wishes for health, and hopefully not too many wasp stings along the way until we can meet again - unreservedly hugging, smiling without masks, and singing together!

Happy Thanksgiving!